Thursday, March 23, 2006

Fuck this shit!! What's happened to me??

Twice today I have thought "what the fuck? who are you??" about myself.

1) Having lunch, I could hear myself talking and I suddenly just thought, "my god, you sound like a right cunt. What on earth are you talking about, you fucking loser?" That was a bit worrying and I was a bit sad going back to the office.

2) I have gone completely hyperactive and I can't sit still or talk coherently. My palms are sweating and I keep doing silly things like throw myself off the chair, just for a laugh, or gibber on to my friend about god knows what. In this state, I am being asked for advice. I laughed. I'm like 8 years younger than you and possibly criminally insane and you want ME to give advice? Well sure, nae problem. Don't expect me to make any sense and please, for the love of god, don't follow my advice. Unless you want to be like me, that is. And I doubt it's top of many peoples wish lists: "oooh, mummy, I want to be like that girl with stupid hair who's crying on the bus and has holes in her gloves and looks (apparently) really ethnic." Anti-semites.

All grasp of grammar has gone out the window.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have calmed down a bit, as it's the inaugural work fashion show. Not really, I just invented that. R is going on a date though and I have to help her choose what to wear, so I suppose I'm not far off the mark. I'm going to make a concerted effort to wear my clothes properly tomorrow as well. Twice this week I have looked a little stupid in press meetings thanks to stupid clothes. I will also try and wear shoes when walking around, especially as the builders are around and I have no strong desire to get a nail in my foot.

I'm going to piss myself off really soon. Pah.

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