Sometimes a pony gets depressed

This christmas has been all about the animals that aren't real. My stress excema has spread right up to my shoulders. I have developed an interest in self-destruction, and am also morbidly afraid of eating sheeps intestines again.

I am currently reading BBC news and trying to be interested in current affairs but actually I'm just wondering whether it's gin time and whether I should watch tv while drinking, cos I sure as hell can't listen to the Silver Jews alone in the spare room again.

This is all for now. I will write more when I cure my chronic laziness/go back to London/do something interesting/sort my head out.

Oh dear

I am truly vile. I spent the christmas party crying, being sick, ignoring people and being really really REALLY needy.
I hate myself and I never want to leave the house again.

I had a funny dream and you were wearing funny shoes

I am absolutely AWFUL at updating this, I'm so lazy. Also on the occasions I am at home and could potentially update this, my computer decides to spaz. I've got an anti-virus thingy (or anti-norton, as #1 calls it) now which is a bit better.

Things I have been up to lately... Coughing lots in what I would suspect to be tuberculosis if I didn't know for a fact it wasn't (I'm a hypochondriac. And?). Reading lots of books, including one that turned out to be a lesbian historical novel, which gave me a bit of a surprise half way through and would have made me blush (I was reading it on the train) if I was a bit more shocked about these sorts of things. Coughing some more. Going to gigs. Watching films. Buying patent leather shoes. Laughing at my own jokes. Talking about papier mache kittens. Eating breadsticks (though not really eating all that much really, which is nice).

The mansions held christmas early the other weekend and got the tree, some gaudy lights for the kitchen window, big dinner, crackers, pictionary, all that. It was all fun and no one got seriously injured (though J had to be told not to climb on a chair and ended the weekend wearing socks on his hands to stop him picking at the scabs where he'd hit his hand with the hammer). #2's boyfriend admitted he thought that a cobra was a type of large cat. Lots of pictures got taken, some of them absolutely awful.

Oh yeah, I forgot my actual big news - I got a merit in my Master's. I emailed one of my old LSE lecturers to tell him and he said he was glad my interest in China had flourished, and I suddenly remembered the presentation I'd done in his class on one of the late Ming emperors, which went something along the lines of this: "He was a fucking mentalist, he surrounded himself with eunuchs and really let things go. I think he had manic depression." So I think we can assume I have made progress academically. Nowadays I'd at least stick a footnote in there.

I start a new job in January and am looking forward to having more money. Thinking about summer holiday already.... is South America too extravagent? (and not to the Debian conference in Argentina) Also looking forward to leaving my current work as every time I have to speak to accounts payable, I feel like selling a part of my soul to the devil.

Christmas is getting closer and I have done a minute amount of christmas shopping. J says that he has got me a rat for christmas, and that it bites a lot and is named after me. Other than that, J is being lovely and even let me drive his car despite the fact that I somehow forgot that you have to put the clutch down when you brake. And I was all set for that spare McLaren seat until my brain lobotomised itself and I forgot how to drive. Spaz.