The boy's a godamn genius!!

Some of the funniest things I've heard in a while:

"If you buy me a double espresso I'll suck your cock"

"Didn't your ex boyfriend try to fuck you up the nose?"

Both these things were uttered by the same person within the space of about five minutes.

I would normally put this on my facebook to shame him but my mum is my facebook friend now, which makes things a little complicated.

Lots of interesting things have happened recently but I am a) far too lazy and b) far too important (don't you reckon Syma??) to write about them.

Hopalong and fuck off.

Since I had my hip operation over three months ago, my hip has hurt every single day. The outside of my leg feels bruised, though it clearly isn't. The inside feels like it is pulling apart and I have to watch when I walk that I don't make any sudden movements and feel that tearing pain. Lying down is painful. Sleeping, even for me who loves sleeping more than anything, is sometimes not all that easy, and I could probably sleep through hiroshima. I wish I had never had the operation, I can't tell if it's made things better or worse, though I suppose in the long term my arthritis would be a lot worse if I hadn't had it done. Right? Or have I just done nothing with my life and fucked up my leg.

I don't ever want to talk about this, please don't ask me about this. I want to cry, but crying over my crippled leg is probably too self-absorbed, even for me. Hell, some people don't have legs. Etc.

Come on. Let's go drink till we can't feel feelings any more.

If I'm a child, that means you're a paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and take this from a pervert.