Some of the funniest things I've heard in a while:
"If you buy me a double espresso I'll suck your cock"
"Didn't your ex boyfriend try to fuck you up the nose?"
Both these things were uttered by the same person within the space of about five minutes.
I would normally put this on my facebook to shame him but my mum is my facebook friend now, which makes things a little complicated.
Lots of interesting things have happened recently but I am a) far too lazy and b) far too important (don't you reckon Syma??) to write about them.
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