This is a post all about vomiting. Just so you know.

On Wednesday morning, about 2am, and I woke up, walked to the bathroom in a haze and threw up. Then I brushed my teeth and went back to bed. This isn't that weird for me. At about 5.30am I woke up again and had to seriously RUN to the bathroom, where I threw up more. I had a pain in my stomach like I was being stabbed from the inside, and I got back into bed, crying. I hid from my housemates and shouted at #1's boyfriend when he offered to make me tea. I tried to sleep but everything hurt too much.

By about 11am, everyone had left. By this point I had vomited everything I'd eaten in the previous two days. I'd tried to sleep on the bathroom floor. My stomach hurt so much that I thought my appendix had burst. I'd tried to sleep on the sofa because it's darker in there, before going back to my bed. I knew I was getting dehydrated so I was trying to drink water. At this point I threw up ALL OVER MY BED. I ran to the bathroom, where I threw up on my leg. Truly disgusting.

In a moment of lucidity I stripped my bed, then got out the spare mattress in the living room, which, being hospital surplus, is wipeable. I got a bucket and put it next to this new bed. I spent the next two days in this bed, occasionally getting up to throw up either water or small amounts of dry toast. I also probably spent a lot of time crying and moaning in my sleep. I dunno. I slept a lot. My head hurt so when I got up I had to put my invalid hat on.

Three thoughts occured to me during one of my more surreal vomiting episodes:
1) Isn't your food only meant to stay in your stomach for 3 hours?? I know I have a love/hate relationship with my digestive system at the best of times, but am I keeping food in my stomach for 2 days? That's surely wrong.
2) Throwing up only water is strangely satisfying.
3) Man, I never realised bile was so YELLOW.

Anyway, I went to the doctor and she said I had gastroenteritis.

This is what is said on the hospital bed:

Pressure sores. Nice.