貌合神离

Currently I am thinking about dropping out of uni.

Though apparently I will have to find £57 to pay a library fine before I do that. How did I get a £57 fine? It's all this one stupid little book, which doesn't even have 57 fucking pages. And of course, I haven't read it, bar the introduction, which I thought was interesting but inherently occidentalist.

I'm going to have to stop using long words and quasi-constructs if I'm going to quit uni.

I'm feeling disheartened with everything at the moment really. I went to SOAS after work and it was all weird. I don't belong there at all. Everyone was standing around playing pool, or watching people play pool. I have no interest in that - I used to do that when I was 17, and we'd skive off classes and go to WT's and drink lager. Maybe it's a rite of passage you have to go through, and in the UK you just go through it earlier, by necessity. I don't know. I find the attitude all wrong, as the boys - and it's always the boys who are playing - have some low-level sexism going on. It's very patronising, not to mention boring. Plus, some of the people who were playing were people who I tend to try and have as little to do with as possible. So it irked a little that I was spending time with them. There was something else that was weird too - a very strange dynamic that I couldn't quite place.

After work something else odd happened as well, involving me and a girl who has been trying her best to demonstrate to me just how little she likes me. Yesterday she really took the piss, and she needs to take herself, her attitude and her over-inflated sense of self and fuck right off.

I need to try and write things now. Tonight #1 and I are going out for dinner, and then to the cinema. It's going to be awesome :) But I need to make sure I've been productive between now and then, so I can really enjoy myself tonight. I haven't been to the cinema in AGES, so I'm very excited - and there's no one I'd rather go with than #1.