Today my overwhelming feeling has been one of boredom. Work has been dragging on, although I haven't got a great deal done. I just checked my logging stats and yes, I have done nothing.
Last night I went out on my pseudo-date. We went to see "de battre mon coeur s'est arrete" at the Ritzy. It was really gripping. It's about a thug who decides that he wants to be a concert pianist. I really enjoyed it. The violence was more real and effective than a lot of other films that have far more violence. Then me and my "date" walked over to Herne Hill, and had dinner at some place on the corner- I can't remember the name of it. I don't think he'll want to see me again. He said I was very opinionated and that I shouldn't be so ambitious and ruthless. I was a bit bored, really, by the conversation. He's very nice, but we fundamentally disagree on things like whether taking risks is a good thing. Still, after half a bottle of wine, I was fine, and talked away regardless. He walked me to my door (via the garage as I'd smoked all my fags- damn chainsmoking!!), and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I hate that awkwardness you get when you've slept with someone, and then you see them again, and you just think "hmmm, I must have been really fucking drunk".

Thinking about men who you don't want to see again, I haven't heard from the French guy for a while. It was actually the day after I'd shagged the guy I was on the date with yesterday: I had a dinner party, although I was still really pissed. We all drank lots of wine, and then we kissed. Then as I got more and more drunk, we kissed some more. At about 2am we ended up at his house, snogging on the sofa. I must have suddenly sobered up as then I made an excuse and legged it home. The next day, he got my number. That was at about midday. By 8pm he'd rung me 3 times and sent me 4 messages. Urgh. I finally spoke to him and told him that I didn't want to talk to him and that I'd been very drunk and sorry etc, and I've been studiously ignoring him ever since.

Anyway, the guy I fancy hasn't called. When I spoke to him on thursday, he said he'd call at the beginning of next week (so that's this week). Well, it's wednesday now, and still no word. I thought I sensed in his voice that he wasn't really interested, but I thought I was being paranoid. I know he's studying and everything, but surely he can find 5 minutes sometime to call? Or if he's not interested, why isn't he man enough to say so? I really dislike all those psychological games. I really appreciate it when people are just honest- if you like me, say so; if not, say so- or say nothing (and don't go out on a date and act like you like me!!). I'd much rather be insulted than taken for a fool.

There's my rant about the state of love and romance over. For now anyway.