2007 so far...

Day 1 of 2007

Picture the scene. It's 8 am. I am awoken by a strange noise, which on opening one eye, I see to be my mobile, vibrating on the wooden floor. I ignore G's calls. I try to go back to sleep, but something seems strange. I slowly realise that I am not in my bed. I am on the sofa, with a rug on top of me. I am wearing my pants, some socks (which I clearly put on in the night as I had been wearing tights), and a yellow towel that isn't mine. This seems strange. I get up, as I might as well get a bit warmer, the towel and the rug not quite hitting the spot. I go into my room and find a nightie. I spy an upended glass of water on my bed. I briefly wonder why it's there but decide that these sorts of questions can wait til later. My room is a pig sty. Someone - maybe me, maybe little fairies - has emptied two of the drawers onto the floor. I leave my room before I notice anything else. In the bathroom, I try to take out my contact lenses but I only poke myself in the eye, and in doing so I vaguely recall throwing them on the floor the night before. Speaking of eyes, only one of mine can open. I peer closer into the mirror and see that I have a long red mark across my forehead - some sort of scratch - and a black eye. With blood on it. I go back to the sofa and get the spare duvet, and go back to sleep.

I am as yet uncertain as to how I got the black eye but it's very painful and swollen. I don't appear to have any other injuries, which is unusual as I normally bruise at least one of my limbs on a night out. New years eve was lots of fun with #1, with possibly too much brandy being consumed, plenty of dancing ON A TABLE (oh yes), and ohmigod we called the German a Nazi. I met a very sweet girl who told everyone she was my aunt, then I kissed some random man who I then spent ages ignoring cos I wanted to dance to the Ghostbusters theme tune. My phone informs me that I called P at 2.33 but I have no recollection of this, and he's now not answering my texts.

Day 2 of 2007

Contrary to all my new years resolutions, I have thus far spent the day in bed reading Jane Eyre. I have eaten a Flake and two mini Milky Ways. I have also spent a not inconsiderable amount of time looking at funny pictures of cats. I really need to do some washing.