Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Please excuse me, I am rubbish.

Crap shit fuck. I have just had the worst evening/night/morning in a very long time. Things were going so well (see last entry). After work I met up with N very briefly and was feeling so chirpy. Then I bought salad and mozzarella and walked into my flat with a smile on my face, but from there it all went wrong. We drank lots and lots of wine and I slept in #1’s bed and held her while she cried all night. When I finally fell asleep I had the worst nightmare, a nightmare of the calibre I would not wish on anybody and I woke up #1 accidentally. We got up at 4am and smoked and I felt guilty for having my own nightmare and useless for not being able to help. And my mobile is broken so I can’t even text N (I can’t call him anyway, he’s at work) and I know that hearing from him is the only thing that would make me feel better. Today was meant to be a really good day. We’re going to see Mt Eerie tonight. But I just want to cry and I am going to call in sick tomorrow so that I can get some sleep and maybe go and see Mt Eerie again and not have to be at work, doing someone else’s work (like today) when I feel so awful. This is so so rubbish. Normal service will be resumed at some point but I doubt it will be today.

I need a hug. Please excuse me, I am rubbish.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have a hug from me Hattie :hug:

txx

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