Your mother tried to abort you but you JUST WOULDN'T DIE!!

I don't know where to begin on this one really. But I feel I should write something because I won't have a computer all weekend. I have managed to spend the entire day today sorting out my emails, which basically means that I was finding any excuse to obsessively check my email. Why? Stop it! No one is going to email you! But I have so little to do, apart from think up "witty" comments to put in all-staff emails, or read the magazine that comes with the Evening Standard on a Friday, or have possibly slightly too animated discussions about how hot Zidane is. Why all these conversations end with me saying something completely inappropriate just as people walk into the room (leading to one of those tumbleweed moments) I don't know, but at least I have not done anything quite as bad as that circumcision conversation.

Anyway, so what have I been up to lately? I have been battling through my shyness and have chatted to the new housemate, but I kinda spazzed out at the pub yesterday and had to run away, but it's okay cos I think people were laughing at me. On Tuesday G came round and we accidentally took ketamine. I ended up completely naked pinned against the bathroom wall, which sounds kinda sexual, but seeing as I was in the bathroom alone, it kinda wasn't. Got completely shit faced, managed to unplug everything in my room and put the shoes out of the window. On Wednesday we woke up late and went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (not as good as the first, but worth it for Johnny Depp in eyeliner, and anyway, the tickets were only £3.99). #1 came back from the north east and amongst all the drama of me and her and G and the spy and everything, she informed me that I had jinxed #5's relationship by going to the Commercial, which is a whole other story I can't be bothered to explain, but yeah, that pub calls time on any relationship, let's put it like that.

Yesterday I was moping at home because #1 had gone away again, G had gone home, everyone else was in the pub, there wasn't much vodka left and I couldn't be bothered to lie to anyone and be all like "hiya, I'm not actually a headcase, nor am I a complete cunt, will you be my friend?", but then my friend from school called and she's coming to stay with me from Sunday until Wednesday! Woo! I am seriously excited, cos she's ace, and I like having guests. Yay!

Finally, I'm making two resolutions for the next few weeks:

1. Stop smoking in bed - it makes my room smell of death. Should perhaps stop drinking wine in bed too, but it's not going to happen.
2. Stop meeting people and seeing them as some sort of salvation. It's just lame. I can't help it.