Leave work. Go to shop. Buy some lipstick that will never wear. Wait for bus. Listen to walkman. Get on bus. Stop at next bus stop. Fucking Neelesh gets on bus. Feel like have actually died. Try and make polite conversation. Want to cry. Feel like gods must be punishing me for some past life. Get off bus. Get on different bus. Start crying. Get hysterical. Go home. Find lots of journalists in kitchen. Tell #1 that I might go and meet N. Forced to sit down. Told that if I meet him I will get a slap from all the journalists in turn. Cry. Get given wine. Drink wine. Drink beer. Text N. Drink more wine. Show off stolen goods. Invent interesting stories. Drink more wine. Eat shepherds pie. Drink more wine. Have a beer. Go to shop for more wine. Smoke some fags. Announce that I did a nine-second long fart the other day. Drink more wine. Get told I have an arse like a wind sock. Decide to text G and tell him this. Drink more wine. Have conversation of pure filth on the balcony and thus in hearing of the whole street. Drink more wine. Smoke more fags. Kick journos out. Send completely wrong text messages. Drink wine with #1. Bitch about people. Call #1's mum and talk to her about cocks. Drink more wine. Listen to bhangra. Bitch about the over-zealous tidying. Drink more wine. Put #1 to bed. Fall on top of her. Sing "don't squash me now, I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball". Clean kitchen. Drink more wine. Call S. Whinge incessently. Drink more wine. Listen to Crash Test Dummies. Pass out at some point.
Wake up. Hear #1 shouting "you snooze you lose" as she steals the bathroom. Wander around in pants. Make tea. Get dressed. Fall over. Get train. Go to work. Decide not to think about N anymore. Have coffee. Do something very very bad.
Quote of the day: #1, this morning - "I tell you what Hats, this has got to stop"
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4 comments:
I was going to leave a comment saying the same thing.
can we have a talk please. can 'this shit' stop here please.
I think we need a talk. Like really need.
I am trying to destroy my life.
lets have a quiet night in. I'll buy some lame stand up and it'll be a giggle. we can have lots of tea and mooch around and you can laugh when my hair colour goes wrong and we can do our nails and avoid alcohol. x
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