Sometimes I think I know what is going on, I feel comfortably on top of things. Not in a knowing way, just in a "yes, this is how it is and I know how it is" kind of way. It's simple, it's straightforward, there's no drama. But then things happen that confuse me - or rather, then people happen who do things that confuse me, whether deliberately or not (this is irrelevant as the end result is the same) - and I wonder whether I really knew anything at all.
I guess it's not even that big a deal to me, even though it means I was wrong about everything. It's not my deal to be made big, it's not my decision to make. But still, if it was my decision then I would make it very differently.
I'm so overcome with something at the moment that I don't want to go out. Today I wore summer shoes and stepped in a puddle and got mud all over my feet. My french looking toes got smeared with slime.
It's my birthday at the weekend and I must say that I'm apathetic to say the least.
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