B - You really are miserable. I thought I was bad.
Me - I'm just up and down all the time and tired of it all. Tired from it all.
B - You need engross yourself in one mood and indulge it for a few days, and then do the other.
Me - I can't. I'm tired. I just want to be still and stable and normal. Then I can do my dissertation.
B - Pah, no you won't. And you won't be "normal" anyway. You're endearingly crazy.
Me - Thanks.
B - I'll tell you what's wrong with you. You've met this fella, J, and he lives in Cambridge. And all week you miss him, and you look forward to the weekend. Then the weekend comes and you're really excited and you have an amazing time. So then you look forward to the next weekend and you miss him even more. And you end up pissing the week away because all you can think about is this other person. Am I right?
Me - Erm, yes...
B - I've done it. Twice. It's crap. And it just gets worse. The only thing you can do is move in together. Otherwise it will just get worse and worse.
Me - But I'm here, or in China, and he's there, and we can't do it for ages!
B - Well, it'll be really shit then and you'll be miserable.
Me - Hmm...
B - Of course, two years down the line I've turned back into a selfish cunt, so there you go. Bye Potter!
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This is from the same guy who a few hours earlier had threatened to put me in the shredder. He's strangely perceptive sometimes, and I think if it wasn't for the whole war/guns fetish, we would agree on most things. Possibly because we are both quite mental, in the same kind of way.
Ironically I noted all of this down in my notebook on the page that had a big 我 at the top. A better choice would have been 爱. I can't wait for J to come back from camping. I can't sleep at night because I miss him. I even do that really lame girly thing of sleeping with his tshirt. I have never felt quite like this before.
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