LOADS has happened since I last wrote anything! Where to start?
On Wednesday I went back to work, and moved to my new desk - how exciting. I am far away from the rest of my team, but it does have some perks as there are more people to make me tea, woohoo! Not that there was much tea drunk on wednesday......... I had training, ostensibly on "accountability", but it turned into the most ridiculous thing. In a nutshell, the woman running it said that you could choose what mood you had - to the extent that if a relative dies, you can be happy. I said that people with depression didn't choose to be depressed and that they would quite like to be happy. She said that it was possible to choose. I tried to tell her that it was a scientific fact that depression was caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. She said that in my reality that may be so, but that I shouldn't be so close minded to other realities. Fucking evil bitch. I got really angry. I could feel myself going bright red. She made some more digs at me. I waited until the break and then I left as fast as I could - apparently I was bright red and I could feel my hands shaking. I didn't go back to training, I don't see why I shoudl have to listen to destructive pseudo-science from the world's most unsympathetic woman. She later came and spoke to me and said that she had realised she'd upset me but that she'd carried on anyway. Like that makes it any better.
We have since googled her and her "philosophy" and there was quite a nice quote along the lines of "it is all unfounded and the general consensus is that it's bollocks". Ha.
It was weird being angry. I don't really get angry very often - a bit mardy yes, but not angry. The last time I was angry was the whole S/D/A scenario. And then I was angry in a different way - enough to sober me up completely at 5am and shout very loudly. Ah, good times. This time was more a I'm-going-to-start-crying-and-not-stop kind of despairing angry. I have since talked about it with B and we have surmised that she is a fucking bitch and should perhaps be killed. I just never want to see her and her slightly rat-like face ever again.
So that was work. Otherwise, work is fine. I have a new position. It's nice to be doing more varied things, and to be trusted with stuff. I feel immensely flattered and (you know me) completely undeserving. I had missed some people, so it was good to go back and catch up with everyone. Except SS of course, only because he reads this.
Yesterday evening was really nice, I was just pottering about (being a potta as I am), making food for the next 3 days and doing washing. Earlier I'd been thinking about how I hadn't seen BG in ages and that I should really call him.... Then my phone rang, and it was BG! Weird coincidence. We argued about the merits of french philosophy over german philosophy (he's all for german - I disagree) and then I said that James Joyce was shite, which is what I say quite often, mainly because it's true. He commented that it was the first conversation we've ever had where I've actually sounded happy. I told him about J, and he said that he could see why I was happy. I went back to doing the washing up and put classic fm on, which immediately began to play Saint Saens Organ Concerto - my favourite piece of music. Good times. Happy Potter.
#1 got in really pissed and I had to put her to bed and stay with her all night. This morning she was really apologetic - she asked if she'd done anything embaressing, and I was tempted to lie and say yes, but I didn't because I'm a nice girl.
Things with J just get better and better. Weekends with him go so quickly, like in a very fast and very happy blur. Last weekend we saw the Simpsons movie and he taught me how to make sushi (though rather shamefully I choked on some wasabi and spat sushi rice everywhere - so classy). I just love spending time with him. Even reading books in bed is amazing. I feel so happy and so lucky to have him, he really is such a good influence on me and he doesn't seem to mind that much that I am a bit weird sometimes. Normally I'm such a cynic about relationships and stuff, but I'm just not at all with him, I trust him completely. I'm so content, he's such a good influence on me. I could think (and write!!) about him all day - if my dissertation was on J, I perhaps wouldn't be quite so fucked on that front.
Also, did anyone else see that story in the papers yesterday about a primary school teacher who read her class the last page of the Harry Potter book on the last day of term? There's been outrage at the school. That's so the kind of teacher I would be.
Also, in other news, I have news, but it's not my news to tell.... But it is very exciting.
I'm off to the library now. I got out of a £250 fine the other day by pretending to be stupid but I don't think it's a feasible long term plan. Really must stop taking out 10 books at a time as I can't read that many. Really must WRITE SOME DISSERTATION. Or at least choose a title.
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3 comments:
1. What? German philosophy has Leibniz, Kant, Fichte, Hegel, Hamann, Herder, the Romantics, Frege, Wittgenstein (although he's technically Austrian) and Heidegger. France has Descartes, Sartre and Descartes - impressive, but Germany is a clear winner here.
2. What? James Joyce is fantastic! Though not as good as Proust, obv.
3. Call your thesis "Reading Derrida reading Heidegger reading Hegel reading Kant: or, isn't it punny how a Hun likes beary?"
Mike:
1. That is precisely the argument Ben used on me. I wasn't going for numbers, I was thinking more of QUALITY over QUANTITY. Though that's completely subjective - I just prefer french philosophy, as I do the french language, french music, french food, etc.... some may call me a francophile, I say it's more a case that german a-level scarred me for life.
2. I completely disagree. James Joyce is shite. I think you would really get on with Ben, he seems to agree with you on all these things. I will ask him if he hates subway too.
3. I'm not sure that that title would be particularly relevant, given that my dissertation is on women's body image in China, but I may use your suggestion as a subtitle if you like?
1. I'd say that any of these philosophers would win in terms of quality as well, due to the sheer scope and originality of their thought. I don't think that's completely subjective, but to investigate this issue further, we may well need to drink some wine and chat.
2. How can you think that Joyce sucked? He mastered the English language and wrote nothing but masterpieces. But we may need to discuss this further, perhaps over some wine?
3. Shall we get some wine sometime?
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