"pretty and thick as two short planks - just how I like them"

I had so much to write today, but then I get to work and I look at BBC News and strewth, Steve Irwin is dead. This is outrageous. I mean, yeah, if you stick your head in a crocodiles mouth you're asking for trouble, and messing about with stingray is a bit stupid, and we won't speak of whatever these close encounters he had with penguins... but man, come on, this man is a legend. When I first started at uni, I had a picture of Steve on my door. It was one of my prized possessions. Then Kinash stole it from me. I know it was him because I went to his room and he had it on his wall. I asked for it back and he begged me - literally begged me - for it. Aged 23. But yeah, Steve Irwin, eh. It's a sad day. I immediately sought out all the Australians in the building. One of them is planning to build a memorial in Hyde Park with me (gold plated mechanical crocodiles, anyone?). Another one, a guy who does the maintenance, was like "I know, mate! My parents rang me this morning!" Amazing. It's hot antipodean news.

Anyway, the tragic news has somewhat eclipsed my news. Nah fuck it, it hasn't. I AM GOING TO ANTIGUA!! Amazing! 5* hotel, club class flight... This is the life for me. I haven't been on a plane that isn't Ryanair in years - in fact I don't know when. And I've certainly never been anywhere like Antigua. Actually, it may not be Antigua - it might be Jamaica. But still, you know, I can do Jamaica. I am so excited! A holiday, a proper bad ass holiday!

What happened this weekend? S and I went to Trafalgar Square on Friday night and saw my new favourite band, Desorden Publico. Venezualan political ska. And a man in a track suit. And a man with sunglasses who was deceptively hot. Chavez out! I want to learn Spanish too now.

On Saturday I bought a new school bag and some pretty near perfect black trousers (after looking for about 10 years now!), then went to Lidl and stocked up on amazing Lidl food like greek antipasti and olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I fucking love Lidl. It reminds me so much of the supermarkets in Germany except for one small difference - in supermarkets in the UK, they have sweets next to the checkouts. In Germany they have cigarettes. Far better if you ask me. Anyway, yeah, Lidl is ace. Apparently my dad loves Lidl and keeps finding excuses to go. Aldi is top too though. I got my stereo from Aldi (yeah, I have no shame) and it's lasted 7 years.

As I was getting ready to go out, I started feeling a bit weird, and then puked for half an hour. What's that about? This meant that I was late to meet G, which was annoying cos I'd been berating him about his general lateness (he was 3 hours late to meet me). We went up to Hackney to SB's house, where she was having a barbeque. Her house is really nice, very homely. I could just imagine there being a cat wandering around, and that's always a sign that I think somewhere is cosy. The people were all pretty cool too, even if some of them were deranged. There was this Japanese girl that G was trying to chat up, called Shinobobo or something like that. She said she'd been in London for 10 years but her English was shite. Also, she didn't really listen, so conversation was a bit rubbish (just the way G likes it though!). It was all fun and games at the barbeque although someone stole all the vegetarian sausages and there was an accountant there. SB's housemate kicked everyones ass at table football and I put Hadouken! on the stereo.

Then we went to Herbal and got fucked up on drugs. Got home about 4am and finally fell asleep about 9am. I woke up at 1pm in the most ridiculous amount of pain. My hip is not happy - I can only sleep on one side. My head hurt too and my room smelt of fags and orange squash (spilt all over my bed, damnit). I finally went back to sleep and woke up properly at 5pm, when I realised I had about a hundred missed calls, which culminated in a bit of an argument. Whatevs.

In a very pleasant end to the weekend, S and SB came round and we ate pizza and garlic bread (who says I'm a bad host?) and gaped in amazement at #5 who was taking pictures of the neighbours with a telephoto lens.

I don't know how I feel about things. But I don't really care. I was asked at the weekend how I feel at the moment. I thought for a minute and I realised that actually, things are awesome! Things are pretty darn amazing and I feel good. I like this. I am very sorry for not always being like this cos the new me can see that the old me must have been a pain in the arse. I'm going to try and stay a happy hats.

Here is a recent photo of me. I am well emo.