Music

I was asked a pertinent question today - "what kind of music do I like?" And it made me think. What the hell do I like? (as opposed to the altogether different question of "what do I listen to")

It seems that I listen to a lot of music I don't like all that much. And I listen to a lot of stuff just for the "comedy value" or because a certain song reminds me of a certain time or place. And other songs I can't listen to for exactly that reason (hence my only recently rectified aversion to REM - who I still think suck, not to mention whine, but at least I don't cry or anything anymore). But why am I so able to say what I don't like when I find it impossible to specify what I do like? Is it down to my inability to make a decision, my seeming lack of any positive views when it comes to myself and my interests? One thing that is sure is that I listen to the music I listen to because I have, in some way or another, been told to listen to that. That's what happens if you go out with music facists, which does appear to be a theme if you look at my relationship history (with the exception of G, admittedly, though he did know a lot about computer games, so you could say that he swapped one electronic format for another - because let's face it, there's no music without electricity anymore, unfortunatel). But I digress...

I have to say that the only music that makes me have THAT feeling inside (without the help of class A's) is classical music. Maybe because I was brought up on it, or because at one point, it meant so much to me. But that in itself is so annoying as I know nothing about it now. After everything started falling apart, I distanced myself from that, and once I moved to London, I was more interested in losing my mind than anything else. So although I love it, I can't listen to classical music without feeling sad. But it's not sad in a bad way, more a melancholy and a lingering sense of regret. I don't get sick of listening to pieces of classical music (with some exceptions) whereas I find that I go through endless stages and cycles with other music. I guess just an overall feeling of animosity towards it isn't that bad - you always know where you are etc. It just so happens that "where you are" translates as "in the shit".

So, what music do I actually like? Who fucking knows.