worst comes to worst my peoples come first

Last night didn't go as planned. In fact, by the end of the night, one could say that it was an unmitigated disaster, although I had a good time earlier on.

How can someone - let's call her D, shall we? - be so fickle and so blatantly uncaring to betray a friend like that? That level of insincerity in a person is frankly disgraceful. If you know that your best friend, who we shall call S, has kissed the boy that she has liked for ages and that things are all happy and shiny, you do not throw yourself at said boy every time your friend leaves the room. Nor do you then disappear to the showers with said boy and grope each other in a pathetic teenage way. Nor do you then deny it. Grow the fuck up. Clearly the fault does not entirely lay with one person as the boy shouldn't have done it, but his allegiances are clearly up his arse, whereas D, if she wishes to be considered as a friend, she should act like a friend. Competitiveness is not an attractive quality, especially if it means that you steal your friends boy. I mean, Jesus Christ, do you want to end up as the woman who no one will allow in their house for fear of you trying to hump their husband?

And another thing, honesty is quite a good character trait. I promise a no-questions-asked money-back guarantee if you find that lying through your back teeth is preferable. For example, if you've been caught in the shower, don't say that you didn't know that S had kissed him. You knew. We discussed it. Hell, we discussed it even after I got there, and I didn't arrive until 4 am. So you knew. But you made the decision that it didn't matter to you, and that you would pursue the boy anyway. That's selfish. But a step to rectifying the situation would be to admit it. Step up. Take responsibility. You'll be amazed.

My views on the boy, unsurprisingly, are pretty rock bottom. You could go so far as to say that I never wish to see him again, and I don't want him anywhere near S, a concept he hasn't quite gathered. He takes arrogance to a level that really is quite unprecedented. But whatever, like I say, he hasn't made a pretence of being anyones friend, possibly because he can't see any further than his own ego and penis. Spread the love, kids. And get herpes.

No one will believe a word you say anyway.