Confessions

Hokay, some confessions... brought about as I am drunk and in a weird mood:

1. I actually really fancy Eminem. Say what you like, he is the sex. Though less so that Thierry Henry, who is the epitome of sex and va-va-voom all rolled into one.

2. I have signed up to an internet dating site. This has 2 purposes:
- I plan to get many, many a free meal out of this - "oh what, you want to go to the cinema... Can't we go get food first?" (this is part of my super ingenious dieting plan that is a) derogatory and b) vaguely familiar to anyone who has read the Bridget Jones books)
- it's blatantly going to be funny to read about... does anyone remember the last date I went on?? No?? That's because I didn't write about it. It involved me necking a bottle of wine, telling my date that he was never going to make it in either his career or his attempts with women, and then pissing off, leaving him with the bill. He was well boring though, so allow.

3. I am categorically nasty to people I like/who like me. For example, tonight I get a text saying "I can't wait to see you, I have a surprise for you, wish you were here" (and all that sentimental claptrap) and I text back "I'll try to stave off the excitement. I think I'm busy..." Why do I do this? I told the boy I like that sure he can stay round, there's plenty of space on the balcony.

4. Whenever I think about my ex I feel a bit sick. Today in Victoria train station I thought I was going to fall over because omg that's where we saton our suitcases, and that's where we smoked some fags, and over there, that's where we made some crazy plans, and you see that - that's where we thought it would always be like this. Every street in London (and beyond) is the scene of some falling out, some drama, some making up, something. I do a damn good job of not thinking about him but... Hmm. I don't miss him. I just miss "us".

5. I really like university. I really like all the people I met. I really like the boy I met the other day who I thought I didn't like but now I think is ace.

6. I am well and truly cracking up. I shake a lot and I say it's coffee but it's not.

Elvis was a hero to most but he didn't mean shit to me.