I'd say my sock had a lucky escape there. And my toes, for that matter.
On Thursday I went to the London Bridge Vaults for C's birthday. The vaults is like a cathedral-stroke-catacomb. It's awesome. I saw a play there a few months ago but I still found it hard to get my bearings. It's also very dark in there. It was brilliant to see everyone, as much as I could see, at least. R and C took the piss out of me for ages and I promised to cook them a meal to make up for it. This somehow got turned into me making them Chinese food. Eek. As the night went on, C threw up, I somehow agreed to go rock climbing, we ate lots of crisps, and I got offered a job in Hong Kong (or potentially anyway). I got quite pissed and wandered about with C's brother and then started feeling a bit dodgy so I left.
On the way home I made a couple of mean phonecalls and then on the bus, I befriended some guys from Liverpool and we sang songs and I shouted "whey aye man!" at other people on the bus, and the Scousers invited me to a party, but I said no. When I got home I made a complete tit of myself on the phone and cried for ages and was generally an ARSEHOLE. I tried to sleep but my guts were having none of it, and I had to spend most of the night on the bathroom floor.
At 08.18, the next morning I woke up and amazingly was out of the house by 8.32 as I had to go to work. Christ. Instead of taking a packed lunch I grabbed a tin of soup. I threw on the clothes I'd been wearing on Tuesday as I knew they were semi-smart and not covered in alcohol or similar. I ran to the train station. The train was cancelled. I started talking to a woman. I then passed out. SHAME ON ME. It was kind of hilarious and kind of humiliating. The woman gave me a satsuma. Hahaha.
I had quite a hilarious conversation with my ex the other day:
Me: (general random abuse)
Him: ...
Me: (odd twinge of self-awareness) Am I a bitch?
Him: Yes.
Me: I think I should be nicer to you. Why are you so nice to me when I'm only ever mean to you?
Him: I like you.
Me: Fuck off.
Him: Stop being so paranoid.
Me: I'm not. Arsehole.
One day we'll get married and have children. Actually, we've already discussed this but only because we want to have a protracted custody battle with the sort of mud-slinging you normally find in a Paul McCartney divorce.
I bought some new speakers today and it's truly awesome. I'm not going out ever again. Though this could also be down to the fact that I am a disgrace. And I think I am being ignored. But seriously, have you any idea how great it is to play Basement Jaxx really loud in your room?? I've got a cup of tea, I have a HUGE bag of Japanese rice crackers - staying in is the new going out.
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