What I think about my work and other stuff

Well, thank fuck it’s Friday today. Obviously after my strenuous week, working my fingers to the bone, I really need this weekend. Or something. Even though I have done literally nothing except daydream and send pointless emails to all and sundry, I’m looking forward to the weekend. I don’t have a vast amount to do. Well, I suppose I do. I have a million job applications to fill in, there’s a grand prix on and I also have fuck all money, so I think it might be quite a quiet weekend.

I say quiet, but I’m probably going to go out tonight and tomorrow, and Sainsbury’s is selling eight beers for a fiver, just in case I don’t go out.

However, I’m going to make a concerted effort not to fall over this weekend. I’m also going to cook some nice food and really try to get the internet working. If I do get the internet working then I can download music to my hearts content and can stop listening to the same (admittedly cool) cd over and over again.

I have just realised that our office really smells. Not only does it never get cleaned, we have all been eaten oranges and bananas. And now, C just got back from France and brought me a beautiful goats cheese. I’m really looking forward to eating it, but it is smelling a bit strongly.

Today I am in a silly mood at work. I’m wrapped up in my blanket as it’s a bit nippy, which always ends up being used as a costume. So far today I’ve been the woman from the Scottish Widows adverts, E.T., some Star Wars character, a nun, a pilgrim at Hajj… basically anything that involves putting a blanket over your head. I am trying desperately to cope with my overflowing inbox but I don’t have the legal knowledge to do this at all. So instead of doing the work- or not being able to, and getting stressed and upset about it- I am messing around. Yesterday I was doing impressions from films and TV. I thought I did quite a good one of Jesus (in The Big Lebowski), but no one else had seen it so I just looked stupid. The Thunderbirds impressions went down a little better. Last week R and I got really bored and we blew up condoms and let them all off in the smoking room. It was gross. They stuck to the wall.

I’m not sure what’s brought on this funny (as in, not ha ha funny, more peculiar funny) mood. I was pretty awful at waking up this morning, but that’s because N stayed round and it’s too hard to get up when you have such a beautiful boy there with you. Now I’m feeling a little bit weird though, cos my insides feel all messed up and odd. I am such a bundle of paranoia. Why do I worry so much about everything? Surely there is nothing to worry about… yet I do it anyway.

Oh fuck fuck fuck. Whatever semblance of a good mood has just been completely screwed by some fucking arsehole racist who thought it would be a good idea to shout at me and tell me that I was wrong wrong wrong when I wasn’t. Apparently my people will be dying in the street and it will be ALL MY FAULT. Aaaaargh, this job is so undermining and soul destroying. I wasn’t wrong. I was trying to help the bastard. Whatever I do, people get annoyed- “oh, but WHY can’t you help?” “I think you’re a waste of tax payers money” “I know you can’t decide on the legality of cases but can’t you tell me whether it’s criminal or not?” NO NO NO NO NO FUCK OFF!!

I feel a lot better now.

N asked me what I do when people are rude to me at work. Which made me think: what do I do? Apart from asking them to stop swearing at me/being abusive/shouting over me, there isn’t a lot I can do other than the way I end a lot of these calls: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think your behaviour allows this conversation to be taken any further. Goodbye.” How lame. It makes me feel so impotent.

AAAAAAARGHHHHHHHH!! He called again! I have now spent half an hour of my day being shouted and I had to hang up in the end. I want to scream. Now he’s rung again and my colleague has taken the call and all he’s doing is shouting and screaming down the phone saying “where’s that fucking stupid girl? What the fuck is she doing hanging up on me? Fucking bitch!” and generally shouting and ranting.

I am trying so hard to stay calm but he has now shouted at everyone in my office and we’re all pretty pissed off about it. Don’t fucking shout at us. We are actually here to help you. We’re not perfect but please give us a fucking break. We’re paid pretty much fuck all and have to put up with abuse.

And he’s just called again. Somebody shoot me. I need a drink.