I haven't written in this for ages and ages. I guess I have been quite busy doing stuff. I handed in my dissertation a while ago and dyed my hair that morning. Accidentally dyed my ears too but I guess that's what happens. Writing this chronologically is going to be a nightmare as so much has happened. Lots of drinking, post-dissertation. Quite a lot of crying as everyone left London. We took M to Heathrow, which was nice as we got to spend time with her, but awful because Chile is just so very far away.
On friday I had my operation. I was meant to leave hospital the next day but I was quite ill so they made me stay in til sunday. My mum and J both came to stay for the weekend, and between them and my housemates, I was really well looked after. Now I am at home and everyone is gone/at work and I'm pretty miserable, to tell the truth. In some ways it's nice to have some time to myself - check my emails, read a book, go on facebook - but I feel so lonely and depressed. Last night I cried for ages because I thought about how mean I have been to J, how grouchy and grumpy, and how much I would miss him if he left me. I'm feeling really sorry for myself, and I need to snap out of it. My leg is very very sore though, and my painkillers make me throw up, so I'm not taking as many as I should. It was quite a serious operation (my consultant told me, just before he hit my bed with his bag) and I'm not allowed to do "too much" for a while. I have crutches but they are starting to make my hands a bit sore. They're also very plain and not me at all - so they will be decorated :)
I have loads more to write but I'm not really in the mood. I'm off work for 2 more weeks though so I'm sure I will get round to it. First I will try and shake myself out of my misery - then perhaps this will be less self-indulgent bullshit and more humourous self-mockery. Or whatever it is that I normally write. Bullshit most likely.
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