I just got hit on the head in the press meeting. I asked three questions and they’d all been asked literally ten seconds previously. So one of the press officers hit me on the head with a bunch of papers. I suppose I should have realised that I wouldn’t be able to pay attention to what was being said if I was watching tv and daydreaming about N. But I had to watch the tv- there’s a large flat screen thingy in the press office that always shows BBC News 24, and I can’t help but watch it. Especially if there’s exciting things like the Italian election. Wow. I’m such a geek. Fun.
I’m in a good mood today though. Went to sleep ridiculously early as we were so tired. I was still zombie-like this morning, but that’s what I’m like every morning. I’m just not a morning person. It isn’t helped by the fact that I never take my makeup off before going to bed, and I wake up with black all over my face. Pleasant. So far I haven’t managed to ruin any of N’s pillowcases with my eye makeup. My own are pretty fucked and I have to wash them at 90 degrees (instead of the more environmentally friendly 40 degrees) to get the ingrained makeup off. I should just wash my face. I’m pretty gross really.
The debt recovery people called this morning, which I thought was a bit bloody rich, seeing as it wasn’t even nine. They wanted to know why I was already 11 days late with my payment. The woman was fucking rude actually, but there’s little I could do and I had to pay them something horrific like £275. Still, only one more month of being fucked up the arse by those bastards.
Anyway, so the situational doom happened over the weekend and last night. Not my doom. The other doom. I feel really bad. I gave S advice and it all went horribly wrong. Now she is upset and it’s all my fault. I don’t know why people ask me for advice. I mean, seriously. Particularly if I am pretty much to blame for the doom in the first place. It’s bad. I’m bad. I met S after work and we went to the Columbian coffee place. I felt horrible.
Pah. I miss N again. I miss him so much when I don’t see him, even if it’s only for a couple of hours.
I tried to pretend there was nothing bizarre about the fact I was really early for work this morning, but everyone just sort of gaped at me. Normally I start at 10:00 but I am always late. Yesterday, despite waking up at 7:30, I didn’t get to work until 10:30. Rubbishness. So today I am feeling sanctimonious because I was there before nine.
This is a really rubbish entry. Sorry folks.
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